I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
