isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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