Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
