So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
