I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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