Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
