Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
