how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
