Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I cockslap morals
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
