He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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