So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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