Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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