Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
