I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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