Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I think i got beer on your cat.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
