so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
