Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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