it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
