he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize