this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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