So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
