The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
