She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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