I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
don't judge my taste in strippers
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize