His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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