There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
