She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I am available for nakedness
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
