Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
