he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
