Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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