This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
