I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
