That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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