so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
