Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
