I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize