I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
