Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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