All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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