I just pynch a tree in the face
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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