But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
