she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
