Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
