im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
