also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
