Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
