Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
