I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
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Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
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Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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