I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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