Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
