If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
