there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
