And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
