What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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