who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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