I could make wine with my vomit
home. puking in laundry basket.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
