I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
