she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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