I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
