So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
