Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
